Buy Every Lottery Ticket You Can Afford

January 13, 2016 The Fire Guy 1 comment

Cash out that old IRA. Take a cash advance on your credit cards. Find every dollar you can and buy Powerball lottery tickets for tonight’s record $1.5B jackpot.

Apparently that’s some people’s advice that somehow get on TV. Is this not just proof again of how ridiculous our media is and how dumb American culture is? Let me just say it – you’re not going to win the lottery. You’re not going to know the person that wins the lottery. You very likely won’t be within 3 states of the person that wins the lottery. With the odds now at 1 in 292 million, since last summer’s lottery change to become even more of a crock, expect big jackpots like this to become semi-normal. It may take a while, but we will hit $2B relatively soon with those odds.

I just want to know who runs the Powerball. (Multi-State Lottery Association) They found an effective way to get people to pay taxes and not even complain about it. And the states that gain tax dollars off these lottery sales are laughing all the way to the bank! If we are all so concerned about taxes, maybe the government should create some new even bigger lotteries to help pay down the national debt. It sounds like many, many Americans are more than happy to oblige. But you may say, there is a potential benefit from paying these types of lotto taxes. Yes, I agree – false hope. If people are dumb enough to fall for that government scheme, then I am all for it.

What’s amazing, is that so many people play the lottery every week or at the very least, quite often. At nearly every place that I’ve been employed, there has been an office pool and they are back at it, every week, paying their lotto taxes like upstanding American citizens. The LA Times put together a neat Powerball simulator that shows no matter how much money you put into the Powerball over time – you are extraordinarily likely to lose over 90% or more.

Just a couple of random odds for you:

  • Odds of dating a millionaire: 1 in 215 more than 1.35M times more likely
  • Odds of writing a NYT best seller: 1 in 220 more than 1.32M times more likely
  • Odds of becoming a billionaire (without the lottery): 1 in 7M more than 42 times more likely
  • Odds of becoming President (yes that POTUS): 1 in 10M more than 29 times more likely
  • Odds of winning Powerball: 1 in 292.2M (yikes)

Maybe we should focus some of that lotto tax money on something that is a bit more likely and actual could be a benefit to us.

Write a book. Go find a rich guy. Start a business or just do something productive.

If I come across as brash, it’s because I feel that way. You are 29 times more likely to be President than win the Powerball – come on people, be real. You’re not going to be President either, by the way. I know I have shattered many dreams with this statement.

So if you want to spend a couple bucks on this “historical” jackpot, go for it, but consider yourself a winner if you win even $4 tonight. In the meantime, I think I found a fix for our government debt issue…


1 Comment on “Buy Every Lottery Ticket You Can Afford

  1. It’s pretty hilarious that when the jackpot gets to be a certain level, people are all the sudden rushing out to buy tickets. No more likely to win, and they have no more clue what they’d do with $5 million than they do with $400 million. The whole attitude just reveals how unhappy they are with their current situation.

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